1 Dec 2021
I write letters home every now and then to ~20 of my family, close friends, and close friends to be.
This is my way of inviting conversation, feeling heard, and staying connected. I'm writing this because you matter to me.
Though I would love for you to read and respond, this email comes expectation-free.
One of the upsides of this season of life is that I have the ability to play with my sleep schedule in ways that don't affect anyone else. I'm living a sort of night owl schedule at the moment with downtime in the morning, work after lunch, workout before dinner, work after dinner then sleep. It's really working for me.
I have gladly traded this freedom away for the upsides of relationships, and likely will again one day, but gee it's nice to enjoy it while I have it.
they who came before
I've been working through some heavy stuff with my psychologist lately.
I feel so blessed...That I get to see some of these things lift. That I've done the work to get as healthy and aware as I am so that I can make the most of the help offered to me. That I've had the right combination of circumstances to catalyse the changes I'm making. That I get to heal from things I thought I was stuck with.
I was having a good cathartic cry in the shower (nothing bad, there's just a lot that comes up when you unwind a decades-old pattern) and I couldn't help feeling that this is such a privilege. I thought of all of those who came before me who couldn't necessarily have a cathartic cry - who couldn't change significant parts of their circumstances, who didn't have the privilege of guided help for their healing, and yet who went on anyway. Maybe they did cry like this, I don't know. I just, for a moment, felt the weight of their stories press on me and wondered about them.
Sometimes I'll hear of someone I know encountering severe tragedy, incredible joy, or a near miss. No matter how often it happens, I'm always surprised by how much I need reminding:
This is precious. It's not guaranteed. It could all change tomorrow.
a final thought
"Be willing to let it be easy. You might be surprised" -- Elizabeth Gilbert
I hope you're well.
PS - got time for a quick reply? What have you got planned for the holiday season?