17 Oct 2021 - invisible benefits, 6 weeks at the new job, what I’ve been reading / listening to

17 Oct 2021

Hey there,

I write letters home every now and then to ~20 of my family, close friends, and close friends to be.

This is my way of inviting conversation, feeling heard, and staying connected. I'm writing this because you matter to me.

Though I would love for you to read and respond, this email comes expectation-free.

Invisible benefits

There are some things we do regularly that we're rewarded for.

Do the dishes - you have clean dishes.

Brush your teeth - your teeth don't feel gross.

Then there are some habits where, like, you don't get an immediate reward.

Stay in touch with your friends - they don't become strangers.

Floss your teeth - you'll need less dental work eventually.

But then there are the habits where, like, there's no reward, it just means that things don't go awfully.

For example, I skipped mobility and core exercises three days in a row, and two dance classes later, I was laid up in bed for half a day with fatigue and lower back pain.

So now I know those things are kind of not negotiable 😂

I'm glad it was just a bit of pain instead of an injury. Lucky me.

6 weeks at the new job

love this work and this team.

Three things I'm thinking about:

  • I want to make sure work doesn't expand to fill every single crack of available time in my life especially because I love it
  • I want to balance the chores (inboxes, admin, meeting prep and afterwork) with the business building (deep strategic work, high upside decision-making etc)
  • I want to update my website, social media etc to reflect the new role soon

The team is terrific as well. One of us is a competitive swimmer and is live updating us from a competition as I write this. Three of them are trying to convince the rest of us to get VR headsets so we can game together. I'm working with our newest and youngest team member to unearth useful metrics from some of our systems - he can do the data-diving and I get to explain to him what it all means so that we can actually gain insights from it.

I'm doing great work and people are acknowledging and benefiting from that great work. Such a nice feeling.

What I've been reading / listening to

I'm currently reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. It's really quite good. I may slip in a quote or two next time.

Recently, I listened to the audio production of The Sandman by Neil Gaiman which was terrific.

I also listened to an audio production of The Importance of Being Earnest and my goodness it holds up. Every bloody line is just so clever.

Lastly, I have to mention that I've rediscovered Matt Corby, a musician who keeps slipping in and out of my YouTube recommendations. Yes, there is music and lyrics, but he's storytelling in such a raw, honest way...it just so happens that the music and lyrics are the format. I can't get enough of it, honestly. If you'd like a taste, here's his cover of Tina Arena's Chains and here's All Fired Up, an original piece performed in his backyard.


You know, I almost sent this email without this section, but I felt that I needed to acknowledge it.

It's been almost 3 months since David and I returned to Brisbane as two single people.

I still think of him fondly, I still think of my mistakes with a sense of loss, but it's... less pressing - there's no underlying urge to do something about it, no feeling of complete disorientation.

He's seeing someone else. I'm not.

We're still friends - we send each other messages every now and then, but we don't go to one another for emotional support, which I think is good.

We hope we can remain good friends, but if we discover it's better for us to go no contact, we're both ok with that too.

We went for a hike last weekend and we went to dinner this week with a group of friends.

I think the biggest shift is that the breakup is no longer the largest thing in my life. It did not even list as one of the 10 section ideas that I had for today's email.

I know that these things take a few cycles before the waves fully die down but it's nice that it's made it to this point.

Anyway, I hope you're all well.

Talk soon