20 March 2022
I write letters home every now and then to ~20 of my family, close friends, and close friends to be.
This is my way of inviting conversation, feeling heard, and staying connected. I'm writing this because you matter to me.
Though I would love for you to read and respond, this email comes expectation-free.
A skin care routine
Despite having skin on my face for my entire life, I've never really cared for it.
A few years back, I started using a cleanser each time I showered, but that's about it.
Well, I'm a few weeks into a proper morning and evening routine, and I'm liking it.
Not sure that it's doing anything, but it's a lovely way to start and end the day with a bit of self-care and smiling at myself in the mirror.
Oh, and what I thought was a bruise on my face was actually a shadow below my cheekbones which are starting to show again - I've also changed up my eating and lost a few kilos so that's been nice too :)
Nature keeps tugging at me
I get properly restless if I haven't gone for a walk or run through the reserve. I find myself heading there pretty much every day. It's been a great way to deal with too many thoughts, too much energy, or just a pause in the work. I'll see a wallaby or two most times, I'll often catch the eye of a kookaburra, and there's a section of the reserve where the bats roost. No matter where I live, I tend to return to a bit of nature--the reserve, the ocean, the river. Today I found myself somewhere I'd never been before and I had 30mins to spare. You know what I did? I pulled up Google maps to find the nearest park so I could see the trees.
I say my farewell to full cream milk shakes and hollandaise sauce
Lactose intolerance is one of the few food intolerances where the intolerant seem indignant of their intolerance. I've decided it's not worth it any more. I'm declaring it here and now: full cream milk shakes and hollandaise sauce are no longer options for me. While I'll indulge in some of the other forms of dairy, the way my body screams in rejection at me while I'm eating -- I'm done. I can't. It's not worth it.
The cafe refuge
I recently had my last lot of hollandaise at the local cafe. It's a brief walk from the house and I can always get an early morning table. It's been a lovely place to set up my day when it's all a bit much. The walk there has birdsong all the way, and there's a regular morning crowd of retirees who all sit around a big table and trade chatter. And they have the best almond croissants I've ever tasted.
The first audition in 15 years
When I was in high school, I was really involved in theatre and performing arts. And then I just stopped. It was pretty abrupt. The last show I auditioned for was a production of High School Musical. I didn't get in. My best friend at the time got the male lead. During high school, I also dropped out of the vocal ensemble. I had been so proud to be part of it, and I left because I thought I wasn't good enough. Not because anyone said so. Actually, all of them tried to get me to stay. I was just convinced I was bringing down the quality of the group. I hadn't fully lost my love for performing though, it turns out. I tried my hand at standup comedy a few years back. I've been training at the dance studio for around three years now. And I started voice lessons again 6 months ago. When I was still at uni, I remember joking to my friend Liam that we'd try out for the drama degree. Never did. I remember suggesting to my friend Will that we audition for the next show that Savoyards (a local theatre company) puts on. Then the pandemic hit and the NZ move happened.
I...never really thought I'd actually do this kind of stuff again. Life was too busy. Except that I really really love doing this kind of stuff.
The more I think about it, the more I wonder why life was too busy for something I loved this much.
This weekend just past, I attended auditions for the next Savoyards show and I had the best time.
It wasn't the most solid performance, but the whole experience was truly so energising and life-giving, I'm so glad that I did it, regardless of the outcome.