5 October 2021 - the view from the summit, aftermath, getting into gear, leading and doing

5 October 2021

Hey there,

I write letters home every now and then to ~20 of my family, close friends, and those I'm in close proximity to (aka close friends to be).

This is my way of inviting conversation, feeling heard, and staying connected. I'm writing this because you matter to me.

Though I would love for you to read and respond, this email comes expectation-free.

The view from the summit

I've been exercising more than I used to.

I'm more settled after a workout.

Daily, I do a bit of mobility and some core work - this is quick and I don't necessarily break a sweat but it does plenty for me in the long term.

3-4 times a week I dance for 1-2 hours. This is 80% high intensity cardio with the remainder as choreography.

On non-dance days, I go for a hike or a run. I default to the hike because it has the added benefit of this view:


It's interesting how physical resilience mirrors mental resilience - I can train both. Yesterday, it was 37 degrees celsius in Brisbane. I couldn't concentrate so I went for a run (this was after the UV went into the safe range 😎) to see how it affects me. Turns out, it's not so bad. Kind of like a cold pool is only cold until you get in.


After my first major relationship, I numbed my way through the aftermath.

After the next major relationship, I quickly got into another relationship.

But this most recent one, I'm tasked with (and in some ways gifted with) facing the full reality.

I don't really numb any more. Work is lovely but I'm not letting it consume my whole life. I'm not eating my feelings.

I've had three major relationships now. I was in those relationships for over 30% of my life.

I can see the patterns enough to want to work on some stuff.

There's some learning, introspection, therapy, somatic processing but it all comes under one umbrella:

I want to own my part of what went wrong and I want to give myself the gift of better relationships (intimate and otherwise).

I'm starting to close the book on David's and my relationship.

It will take a little more distance, but it's now at the point where the slope has shifted to downhill.

Getting into gear

I got lucky. The clutch point on the Corolla is really similar to the Golf - the manual transmission car I'd gotten most used to driving.

Also, it's a really really forgiving car. I mean, it really doesn't want to stall.

It had been over two months since I'd driven a car, over a year since I'd driven a manual.

The carpark exercise was good to get used to the first two gears.

Vic offered to drive us to the next practice location. I opted to drive it.

Apparently all that muscle memory holds.

I mean, I stalled once on the road, but I figured it out (and I even waved at the guy behind me who got caught by the red light because of my stall, ha).

My hill start success rate is at about 50%. So that's the next thing to work on.

I think I will go for my manual licence at some point. I'll keep you posted.

Leading and doing

One lesson I'm learning at work is the difference between being a leader and a doer.

At the stage of growth of this company, I have to be both. I have to switch between both.

I can be an excellent strategist and I can also execute excellently.

The problem is that sometimes I get my wires crossed. I'll bring my doer mindset to a strategic meeting or I'll get overly strategic when I just need to do the thing.

There's the big picture and there's this task right here.

Most of my learnings currently are to:

  • not forget the big picture
  • let things catch fire to follow the correct priorities
  • manage the company's outcomes, not just my own performance

It's different. I haven't been part of a team in a while, I haven't led a team like this before.

Anyway, I'm stretching myself in a good way.

I hope you're all well.

Talk soon